My Coltfriend is a Doctor
by AxePrincess-37
Summary: Doctor Whooves is one of the most likable ponies in Equestria. However, this gets out of hand when to two of his closest friends fall for him, and he doesn't even notice. Pairings might be Vinyl/Doctor, Derpy/Doctor, depending on how it goes. I DO NOT OWN!
1. Chapter 1

**My Coltfriend is a Doctor**  
**Chapter 1: Realisation**

* * *

"See ya tomorrow Snails, keep up the good work with the Mayonnaise!" Vinyl Scratch said as she bid the young colt farewell from her studio.

Vinyl went back inside, then into her studio. White splatters where decorating the wall, and it was going to be a hell of a clean-up.

"Y'gotta admit though." Vinyl said to herself. "He plays Mayonnaise like the ghost of Hendrix."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Vinyl went to answer, and was greeted by her good friend, Doctor Whooves.

"Hey, Vinyl." The Doctor said with a smile. "I fixed you're deck." He said, retrieving Vinyl's precious deck from his saddle-bag.

Vinyl took it off him. "This is immaculate!" She gasped. "How much do I owe you?"

"Consider it a gift." The Doctor said. "It is Hearts and Hooves day, after all."

Vinyl blushed. She had forgotten about the special day.

"Also," The Doctor said. "I did think you'd like this." As he pulled a cassette out of his bag.

Vinyl took it and The Doctor left. It was a mix-tape. All her favourite artists; Fillex, Deadhau5, Daft Colt. But she saw the final bonus track.

DJ P0N-3 ft. Dr. Whooves: Time n Space (Official Remix)

It was the song she had given up on. She just couldn't make it sound right. Whooves must have spent hours on this tape.

She went to play it. The selection was amazing. She listen until the bonus track.

It was beautiful.

She suddenly felt a pleasant feeling. It felt fluffy, warm, and pink. And she remembered everything The Doctor had done for her. He had always given her the latest deck every time she sent her old one in for repairs. He payed her electric bill more times than she did. One time he stayed up late and soundproofed her whole studio. And then she realised something.

She had fallen for Doctor Whooves.

* * *

-Somewhere Else-

* * *

Ditzy Doo had just made the final delivery for the day, and she was pooped.

When got through her door, her precious daughter Dinky Doo ran into her arms, singing "Mommy, Mommy!" As she did.

"What is it Lil' Muffin." Ditzy said warmly, returning her daughters huggle (Hug+Cuddle, Duh!)

"The Doctor came round. He brought me Popsicles, and Ice Cream, and all sorts of goodies. And now he's baking us special muffins for our tea!" Dinky squeaked.

Ditzy smiled. The Doctor had been a tremendous help to her and Dinky. Being a single, working mother was hard, especially since she didn't have much of an income. She was a mailmare, and The Doctor fixed things around town. Doctor would often bring groceries for herself and Dinky.

Dinky adored him. The Doctor would always, and without fail, treat Dinky to something whenever he visited. In fact, Ditzy was sure that Dinky's entire toy collection was because of The Doctor's charity. Plus, Ditzy had to admit, Dinky had gotten a pit pudgy from The Doctor's numerous house calls.

"Hello Derpy." The Doctor said, calling Ditzy by her affectionate nickname. "You're just in time, I'm about to get the muffin out."

Ditzy giggled. The Doctor was wearing her apron and oven gloves. He had a tendency to make her smile like that.

Ditzy sat at the table with Dinky, eager to accept the muffin the Doctor. As he walked in with the treat, Ditzy gasped. It was the size of a wedding cake.

As The Doctor placed the baked good on the table before a strange vibrating emanated from his pocket. Derpy smiled in amazement as the Doctor pulled out a blank scroll from his rumps, but he acted like their was actually writing on it.

"Sorry," The Doctor said. "Somebody has something that needs fixing. I'll just leave this thing here."

"Oh, do you have to go?" Dinky said with disappointment.

"Sorry," The Doctor offered as he dashed out of Ditzy's house.

She looked over to her daughter Dinky, who was squealing words like "yummy" or "delicious". Derpy sighed and took a bite of the giant muffin. Heaven on her Tongue.

She was lucky, to have a friend like The Doctor. He was kind, charitable, always in a fun mood, very handsome, and now she had Great Cook to add to the list. As she took another bite, she realised it.

She had fallen for Doctor Whooves.


	2. Chapter 2

My Coltfriend is a Doctor  
Chapter 2: FINE!

**[Author's Note]**  
**A little background information. The Elements of The Universe are Princess Luna's personal set of Element Wielders. They have stopped enemies such as Edwin the Bug, The Imp Clan, Queen Chrysalis and Wrap Mummy!**

**They are…**

**Soul: Ditzy's Element. Gives her limited control over souls, living or dead.**

**Time: The Doctor's Element. Gives him control over the flow of time.**

**Space: Vinyl's Element. Gives her the ability to shuffle space.**

**Mind: Lyra's Element. Gives her psychic abilities.**

**Reality: The Great and Powerful Trixie's Element. Gives her the ability to make her wishes come true.**

**Power: Thunderlane's Element. Gives him energy control and invincibility.**

* * *

Vinyl knocked on Ditzy's door. It was Friday, and Vinyl, Ditzy and the other Elements of The Universe would put aside their usual business; and Dinky was in school, and the gang would meet at Sugar-Cube Corner and hang out for the day.

Vinyl went to Ditzy's house, to make sure Ditzy wasn't mugged again on the way to the corner.

"Yo, Derpster, I got big news." Vinyl said as she banged on Ditzy's front door.

Ditzy answered the door, head and midsection wrapped in towels.

"Should I come back later." Vinyl said.

"No," Ditzy said. "Come in, I'll be ready in a flash. Why don't you make yourself at home while make myself decent."

Vinyl couldn't help but chuckle as she inspected the interior of the wall-eyed mare's house. Derpy had an abundance of muffin and mail themed furniture and appliances in her home. She went upstairs to Dinky's room. It was fairly simple, not being as Muffin or Mail influenced as the rest of the house.

On Dinky's desk was a collection of "My Little Humans". Vinyl chuckled at the toys. How girly.

"So," Ditzy said as she came into the room, now completely dry. "I've got something to tell you as well."

"Okay, but I'll tell you mine first." Vinyl said.

"No, me first!" Ditzy whinged.

"Same time." Vinyl said, prompting Ditzy to nod.

"I have fell for somepony." The both said in unison.

They both giggled girlishly as they jumped up and down, holding eachother.

"Who is it?" Vinyl asked.

"It's…" Ditzy started.

"EXCUSS ME!" A voice, Lyra's to be exact, shouted from outside. "BUT I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR THE CORNER!"

"Tell you later." Ditzy said quickly as she ran outside to meet Lyra, as Vinyl followed.

The Pegasus and Unicorn met Lyra outside Ditzy's house.

"SO ARE WE GOING OR WHAT?" Lyra asked, still shouting.

"USE AN INDOOR VOICE!" Vinyl shouted.

* * *

Arrive at Sugar-Cube Corner, Vinyl and Derpy were pleased to see The Doctor, already seated at their usual table with Thunderlane and Trixie.

"…Face of Boa, they called me." Thunderlane boasted.

"Thats…disturbing information." The Doctor said.

"Hi Doctor." Vinyl said, taking the seat left of him. Ditzy gave the Doctor a smile as she took the seat to the right.

"So how was your day Doctor?" Ditzy asked.

"How come nopony asks me about my day?" Thunderlane grumbled.

"Because you're uncharismatic." Lyra said flatly.

"Anyway," Vinyl strained, taking off her glasses. "How are you feeling Doctor?"

"Oh," The Doctor said. "Y'know, it's been okay so far. How have you been Vinyl."

Ditzy frowned at Vinyl. She was getting awfully chummy with The Doctor. She felt a tiny bit jealous, but quickly shrugged it off. Vinyl had her eyes on somepony else, didn't she?

Ditzy inched herself closer to The Doctor.

"Um, Doctor." Ditzy said, one eye looking at him, but her muzzle was pointing to her hooves.

"Yes Derpy." The Doctor said, smiling.

"I just realised I never thanked you for that big muffin you made me. It was delicious, thank you." Ditzy said as she put her head closer to the Doctor's chest.

Vinyl frowned. This little act of affection roused her suspicions.

"Hey, Ditzy Doo." Vinyl said. "Can I have a word with you." Vinyl looked at The Doctor, then Lyra, Thunderlane and Trixie. "In private." She added.

* * *

Vinyl and Ditzy walked into the toilet. Vinyl closing the door.

"So tell me." Vinyl said. "Who's this stallion you've had a walled eye on?"

"Oh," Ditzy said, a little bit goofy from her snuggle with The Doctor. "It's The Doctor. Isn't he wonderful."

"Yes, he's so wonderful." Vinyl said, almost cooing. "That's exactly why I love him."

This little admitting of feelings snapped Ditzy out of her love-trance.

"What do you mean? You like the Doctor as well?" Ditzy said in surprise.

"Yes. I know I just figured it out, but I really like him." Vinyl said. "And I'm asking you politely, back off."

"But, but, but…I really like him too." Ditzy said.

"But you can't!" Vinyl whinged.

"Well, apparently I can!" Ditzy said, stamping her hoof.

Vinyl's eye's darted from side-to-side, trying to think of something to say.

"Well," Vinyl finally muttered. "It doesn't matter what you think. I'm going to get The Doctor to fall in love with me before you do!"

"Oh yeah!" Ditzy said, putting her hooves up, trying to be intimidating.

"Yeah!" Vinyl said, doing the same.

"Fine!" Ditzy shouted.

"Fine!" Vinyl mimicked.

"FINE!" They both shouted in unison, before they both stormed out of Sugarcube Corner, much to the bewilderment of their friends.

"What's eating them?" Thunderlane asked.


	3. Chapter 3

**My Coltfriend is a Doctor**  
**Chapter 3: Vinyl & Octavia**

* * *

Vinyl paced up and down her bedroom, her personal notebook opened and two things scribbled on it's pages.

"Vinyl+Doc" in a liitle heart shape, and the words "Die Derp-Face Die!" scribbled next to a doodle of Ditzy with teeth blackened out and devil horns.

A knock came at Vinyl's door. As Vinyl opened it, the posh voice of Octavia sounded, and it was very displeased.

"Vinyl Gunn Scratch!" Octavia said sternly. "Please explain why the refrigerator, lawn mower, oven, washing machine AND MY ELECTRIC FAN have been violently kicked in?"

"Um, oopsie." Vinyl said. "Looks like we'll have to phone The Doctor and get him to fix 'em." she looked at the phone longingly, then looked back towards Octavia. "I'll do it!"

Octavia sighed. She grabbed Vinyl by the tail as the bluenette mare bolted past her, yanking her backwards and making the both of them fall on their rumps.

"Vinyl, is there a reason you seem so eager to break our small kitchen appliances?" Octavia asked

Vinyl felt a weird bubbling feeling in her belly, and her face flushed red.

"Oh, uh, um." She stuttered.

Octavia saw the signs, and promptly _Le Gasped!_

"OMC! It's a boy, isn't it?" Octavia grinned inanely.

"Yes," Vinyl grunted, as she quickly closed her notebook.

"Oh, please tell me it's that handsome and rich Bruce Mane. He's always been sweet on you." Octavia swooned.

"Yeah, and that's why I'm breaking stuff, because Bruce Mane is a great handy man." Vinyl rolled her eyes.

"Handy Man?" Octavia repeated.

A green flash shone through the house. Vinyl's eyes lit up. Green was the Colour of Time.

"Oh no, not him…" Octavia asked.

She galloped down stairs, and was over the mare in the moon when she saw The Doctor, fixing her fridge.

"Hi Doctor!" Vinyl beamed.

"Hello Miss Scratch, just fixing your fridge, then I'll make start on your electric fan."

Vinyl fluttered. She now knew that she liked it when the doctor called her Miss Scratch. She giggled dreamily at the thought of somepony else calling her…Mrs. Whooves.

"Um, Miss Scratch, you're dribbling. Wasn't entirely sure if you knew this." The Doctor said, wiping some spit off Vinyl's cheek, making her cheeks go red.

"For the love of…" Octavia grumbled, "Who let you in?"

"Um, you did." The Doctor said. He looked at his front left hoof, which had a small sundial strapped to it.

"In a about 5…4…3…2…"

The was a ring at the door, which Octavia trotted ahead to answer. She opened the door and nearly screamed.

"Hello!" The Doctor said. Octavia, mouth opened wide, glanced back to where the Doctor used to be, only to catch a glimpse of a green flash.

"My Octavia, I'm glad you finally lost all that weight. You really didn't look good at 750 lbs." The Doctor said with a grin.

"750 lbs?!" Octavia yelled in alarm. She may have thought that the Doctor was daft in the head, but the one thing he wasn't was a liar. And if it hasn't already happened, then…

"I NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU!" Octavia yelped, dragging a lovestruck Vinyl upstairs to their room.

Upstairs, Octavia slammed the door, tactfully ignoring any more green flashes.

"Vinyl," Octavia said, left eye twitching slightly. "WHHYYY HIIMMM!" She sobbed.

"Because he's handsome."

"Bruce Mane is handsome. Plus he's rich."

"He's funny."

"Caramel is funny. Plus he's sensible."

"He's nice to me." Vinyl said, folding her front legs.

Octavia opened her mouth, only to find she had no words.

"So, are you with me, or against me?" Vinyl asked, looking Octavia.

Octavia sighed, and placed a hoof on Vinyl's shoulder.

"Vinyl," Octavia said. "I'll always support you, no matter what you do. Even if you do waste yourself on "Danny-Boy" over there. You're my friend."

Vinyl pulled Octavia in for a hug. "Thank's Octie." She said, making the both of them feel incredibly warm. Vinyl broke the hug.

"So, got any ideas how to get his attention?" She asked.

"Trust me darling, listen to me, and he won't be able to keep his hooves off you." Octavia bragged.


	4. Chapter 4

**My Coltfriend is a Doctor**  
**Chapter 4: Derpy & Carrot Top**

"Ohnononono!" Ditzy sobbed. In the Market today, Ditzy had an unfortunate run-in a Spell Punk, nasty little creatures, and had picked up a Cake Curse. Any food she touched, be it apple pie, dandelion sandwich or hay-fries, turned into chocolate cake. If she was really lucky, it was Victoria Sponge.

The wouldn't be too bad, except she really wanted a muffin right now, but it kept turning into cake.

She cried a little bit. She was alone in the house, Dinky had not yet returned from school, so Ditzy could sob over trivial matters without being told off.

Her sobbing was interrupted by a green flash at the door. A big smile grew on her face. Green was the colour of time!

She galloped to the door, swung it open, and was very disappointed.

It was Carrot Top.

"Hey Derpy, check out this magic stick I just bought." Carrot Top said, as she knocked the stick she was holding against Ditzy's doorframe, creating a brilliant green flash.

Ditzy's head fell. She was really hoping for it to be The Doctor. But it was still her best friend, an acceptable shoulder to cry on.

"CARROT TOP!" Ditzy wailed, sobbing on her friend's shoulder.

Carrot Top was used to these outbursts from Derpy. She was a "special" mare and sobbed over minor inconveniences. God help her if she was subjected to actual tragedy, or heartbreak.

"Carrot Top, will you feed me?" Ditzy whimpered.

"What? No!" Carrot Top snapped. "You're not a foal, Derpy!"

"But-I-Really-Wanna-Muffin-But-Everytime-I-Touch-One-It-Turns-Into-Chocolate-Cake-And-I-Don't-Like-Chocolate-Cake!" Ditzy wailed, in a manner it resembled blubbers and sniffles more that actual words.

"What?" Carrot Top said, only registering guttural sounds.

Ditzy did something really cheeky. She used her power over souls. An orange aura surrounded Carrot Top, the colour of souls. All the love in Carrot Top's heart, which was a lot, surged towards the surface. Carrot Top began to smile.

"Of course I'll feed you Derpy." Carrot Top said. This relieved Ditzy greatly.

"Come inside then." Ditzy said, her tears drying slightly. "Oh and Carrot Top, thank you."

* * *

Inside, Carrot Top had tried to feed Ditzy Doo her muffin, but the moment the confection touched her lips, it just became to delicious, warm, gooey, fudgey chocolate cake. Two layers of chocolate cake glued together by warm chocolate icing, topped with nuts and an occasional malteser, buried like treasure. But Ditzy didn't want delicious, warm, gooey, fudgey chocolate cake. She didn't want two layers of chocolate cake glued together by warm chocolate icing, topped with nuts, nor did she want the occasional malteser, buried like treasure.

She wanted a MUFFIN!

"Oh No!" Ditzy wailed, spitting the cake out. She began to weep, but paused when she watched a brilliant green flash shine outside her door.

"Oh Jeez, is this thing broken already?" Carrot Top groaned, inspecting her magic stick.

Ditzy wasn't going to be fooled twice. She galloped to the door and swung it open. It was the Doctor, smiling as ever.

"Hello Miss Hooves, I've come to fix you're mouth." The Doctor said, waving this weird screwdriver-like thing.

"What?" Carrot Top yelped in confusion.

Ditzy looked both relieved and overjoyed. She loved watching the Doctor do his thing. And now, he had come to save her from a terrible curse, and as far as she knew, there was only one way to end curses.

"Um, Miss Hooves, why are you making a kissy face?" The Doctor asked, eyebrow raised.

Ditzy's eyes snapped open as the Doctor trotted towards her bubbly rump. Ditzy dribbled slightly as the Doctor pressed his hooves against random areas of her posterior, seemingly looking for a certain spot.

Then she screamed when the Doctor rammed his screwdriver into her crack.

Carrot Top fell to floor, rolling around in hysteric laughter.

The Doctor turn it on, and left it to jiggle in Ditzy's flank. He then trotted to her front and began to play patty cake with her front hooves, while reading out some strange incantation.

"Cake is Lovely, Cake is Gooey, But Ditzy Doo Wants Something Else to Chewy."

The Foctor took the screwdriver out of Ditzy's bottom, and spanked her.

"And for the record, that was just for the comedy."

Suddenly an ethereal and semi-demonic fish sprang out of Ditzy's mouth and flew out of the window at top speed.

"Thank you." Ditzy said, grabbing a muffin. She was over the moon that it stayed a muffin.

"Where'd the fish go?" Carrot Top asked, still not quite sure what was going on.

"I dunno." The Doctor said. "But it's be laugh to find out."

* * *

Elsewhere in Ponyville, Octavia was beginning her diet.

"It's a good thing the Doctor warned me about this 750 lbs business. I need to start watch my weight."

She grabbed an apple, not realizing it transformed into cake.

"Mm. I never knew apples could taste this good." Octavia smiled.

* * *

The Doctor was preparing to leave, but Carrot Top stopped him. Carrot Top was well away of the Doctor's "parlour trick" and was also aware of the current love triangle.

"Look, I'm only gonna ask you once. You're too old to be our Doctor, so when do you come from."

"I'm from nine years in the future." The Doctor smiled. His hooves began to glow green, a sign he was about to go back.

"And, out of Vinyl and Derpy, who wins?"

"Oh that's easy. I fall in love with Miss…"

Carrot Top looked up, only to see the remnants of a brilliant green flash.


	5. Chapter 5

**My Coltfriend is a Doctor**  
**Chapter 5: Dressed to Impress**

Vinyl teetered and tottered as she stood on her hind legs. Octavia had cajoled her into wearing a cute lilac vest that would somehow entice the Doctor to look at her plot. She didn't see how, but Octavia did bring a lot of guys home, so it must work, right.

"Vinyl dear, you simply must try these apples, were do you buy them?" Octavia said as she walked into Vinyl's room. Octavia was munching on cake with her eyes shut.

"You have a habit of eating with your eyes closed, don't you." Vinyl chuckled. She patted her Roommates now plump underbelly. "You might want to step up the diet, you're getting to be a real porker."

Octavia felt her plump stomach. "Oh my, you're right." She quickly trotted to her room to get her exercise gear and them go for a gallop.

Vinyl chuckled and dropped to all fours. She admired herself in Octavia's mirror. The Elements of The Universe were meeting at a fancy restaurant. It was called FOØD.

The Doctor would be there, so it was the perfect opportunity to tell him how she felt. If she looked appealing enough, The Doctor might reciprocate. The problem was that Ditzy Doo would also be there. And she would probably be all over the stallion.

"Tonight," Vinyl said, slamming her hoof into her other hoof. "Vinyl Scratch & Doctor Whooves, become Very Special Someponies!"

* * *

Ditzy Doo was taking a shopping trip in Cloudsdale. Dinky was with her father in Fillydelphia for a week, so there was plenty of time for herself.

Normally Ponyville was were she would shop, but considering the event tonight, Cloudsdale was the only place for tasteful clothing that had holes for her wings.

_**"Hey Derpy."**_

Ditzy Doo turned her head to see one of her close friend. Hurricane Fighter, a former Earth Pony who had been turned into a "ThunderHorse", a type of Alicorn that could control electricity, due to a magical mishap by Twilight Sparkle. He was electric green with a sapphire mane, tail and hooves. His Cutie Mark depicted a pony getting electrocuted. He's voice also sounded like a vocoder.

Hurricane had always liked Derpy. He found her eyes, her unbalanced walk, her general helplessness was just so adorable to him. Hurricane found everything about Derpy to be incredible.

"Hey Hurricane." Ditzy Doo said as she trotted past him, basket in her mouth. "Sorry I can't stop, I'm going to a very fancy party tonight."

_**"You need some help with those bags?"**_ Hurricane asked. Ditzy Doo nodded and Hurricane happily took the bag from her.

Ditzy was grateful for the help. Hurricane was always there for her. He was a brilliant friend.

_**"So, any plans for tonight?"**_ Hurricane asked.

"Oh yes." Ditzy said excitedly. "Me & my friends are going to FOØD tonight. It's gonna be amazing."

_**"That's cool."**_ Hurricane said, staring at his hooves. "So, shopping for new clothes then?"

Ditzy nodded vigorously. "I'm gonna try and impress the Doctor tonight, so I need to look real pretty."

Hurricane's ears drooped. _**"The Doctor?"**_ he voice sound extremely disappointed._** "I didn't know you were into him."**_

"Oh, please don't get me started. I could go on for hours." Ditzy said, giggling to herself.

Hurricane sighed. He looked into Ditzy's eyes, and watched as her eyes miraculously aligned themselves. Derpy looked so happy at the thought of this "Doctor" bloke. Hurricane always wanted her to feel that happiness. Especially after…Mr. Doo.

Hurricane's horn began to spark as he blushed and rubbed the back of his head.

_**"So, do like, need, um, some help?"**_ Hurricane asked, his cheeks burning red & his horn sparking like a chewed wire.

"I'd love some help, Hurricane." Ditzy said. Ditzy went into the nearest boutique. Hurricane followed, having mixed feelings about the whole situation.


End file.
